gossip girl 12 终结-第23部分
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It was already after eleven; and the suite was filled with guys in khakis and wrinkled button…downs and girls in tight dresses or bikinis。 Everyone looked like they were trying to look fifteen years old。
You never can go back。
“How are you?” Serena exclaimed eagerly as she plopped on the couch next to Isabel。 “How’s Casey?” she asked; remembering the name of Isabel’s lesbian lover from last year。
“Oh。” Isabel turned bright red。 “I have no idea。 I’m actually dating this guy named Chad;” she announced as she pretended not to stare jealously at Serena’s legs。 Serena was wearing a denim miniskirt she’d fashioned out of a pair of ancient Sevens and an extra…large Marc by Marc Jacobs sweater。 On anyone else; the outfit would have looked sloppy。 On Serena; it looked stunning。
Of course。
“How are you?” Laura cooed; as if she hadn’t been gossiping about her just moments before。 She grabbed Serena’s long blond hair and bed her manicured fingernails through it enviously。 “Are these extensions?”
“No。 Love your hair though。 It’s such a pretty shade of red;” Serena lied。 Laura’s normally brown hair had been dyed an unnatural Hawaiian Punch color。 “I haven’t been to a salon in forever。”
“Are you working on a movie?” Rain asked; wrinkling her ski…jump nose; which now had a small scar from where her nose piercing had been。
“No。 I’m not sure I really want to do movies anymore。” Serena shrugged。 She hadn’t acted since Coffee at the Palace; and had decided to take a break for the foreseeable future。 The only problem was; she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do now。 Part of her was thinking about going back to school—she had only deferred from Yale and could still go if she wanted to—but the idea of sitting in a classroom seemed so confining。 She’d taken a couple of acting classes at a downtown studio that Thad had raved about; but they’d mostly consisted of pantomiming dreams from the night before。 No; thank you。
Especially not when most of her dreams involve a certain someone。
“Is it because of the reviews?” Laura took a swig of her cranberry vodka。
Serena stiffened and suddenly wished she’d made herself a drink before she sat down with her old friends。 The reviews for Coffee at the Palace had been less than stellar; though the New York Times had called Serena a breath of fresh air。 But it was conversations like this that made Serena hate acting。 She loved being in front of the camera; but she hated all the drama that went on when the cameras weren’t rolling。 She never set foot in anywhere trendy; because she hated getting followed by paparazzi and having her picture taken with camera phones。 It was so silly to get that kind of attention when she wasn’t doing anything。
“I’ve been reading a lot of Thomas Mann lately;” Serena said; changing the subject。 “I just finished The Magic Mountain。 With everyone else in school; I don’t want to fall behind;” she added。 She was greeted by silence。
“Well; what classes do you guys take?” Serena prodded。 It had never been hard for her to make conversation; but now; among the girls she’d known since kindergarten; she had no idea what to say。 She awkwardly crossed one leg over the other。
“I don’t even know;” Isabel giggled。 “I spend all my time with my boyfriend。 I do his Influential Movies of the ’80s homework sometimes。 His football schedule is really demanding;” she explained; brushing her long dark hair off her shoulder self…importantly。
“Oh。” Serena didn’t know what else to say。 Since when did Isabel do someone else’s homework? Serena used to always beg to borrow Isabel’s calc problem sets。
“I take golf;” Rain yelled over the awful Madonna/Britney remix that boomed through the room; courtesy of the giggling L’école sophomores huddled around the Bose sound dock near the bar。 “I’m pretty good。”
Serena nodded。 Were they serious? Was that what college was about? At Constance; they’d all taken Latin and physics and AP French。 Sure; they’d plained about it; but deep down; they all knew it was important to do well in high school so they’d get into a good college and succeed in life。 But the classes they were taking now sounded like a joke。
“Okay;” Serena trailed off uncertainly。 She was used to being the life of the party; but now she felt like that awkward guest who people only talked to out of a sense of obligation。 “Does anyone else need a drink?” she asked; not bothering to wait for an answer。
Serena hugged her arms against her chest as she walked over to the bar。 Didn’t they say that people grew apart after high school? Maybe it was natural to not have anything in mon once you no longer shared terrible teachers and lunchtime gossip。 She’d fallen out of touch with her actress friends—Alysia was engaged to some B…list actor; Alison was pregnant; and Amanda was in rehab。 Besides; she kind of hated going to Hollywood parties。 The people there only cared about themselves and their careers。 Right now; she’d give anything just to talk to someone who actually knew her。 But the only people who did were her brother Erik; Blair; and Nate。 Erik was spending the holidays in Australia with his girlfriend; Blair hated her; and who even knew if she’d ever see Nate again? The last she’d heard; Nate was at that same crazy farm school as Chuck。 She’d tried to write him e…mails; but always deleted them before she hit send。 She wanted to tell him she understood why he freaked out last year; but could never find the words。 She wanted to let him know that she was sorry; that she never meant to hurt him; and that it was fine if he never wanted to be together。 But she needed to be friends with him—somehow。 She couldn’t imagine her life without Nate in it。
“Serena!” Kati Farkas cried from the other end of the bar。 “Did you break up with Breckin O’Dell?”
Serena tried to smile。 It was going to be a long evening。
The best ones always are。
Serena took the bottle of Ketel on the bar counter; splashed it liberally in a Riedel glass; then topped it with a thin layer of cranberry juice。 Maybe a drink would help her feel better。 She took an unhappy sip and scanned the room。
Which was when she saw him—all five feet; ten inches of tall; honey gold hair; glittering green…eyed goodness。 He wore a dark blue overcoat and looked out of place in the overheated suite。
Serena held on to the granite bar for support。 Around her L’école girls were passing around a joint and laughing。 She felt like she was going to faint。 She had to talk to him; but what if he didn’t want to talk to her? Or worse; what if he was just polite? What if he talked to her like she’d been his high school lab partner?
She drained the rest of her drink and spontaneously threw her arms around his back。 “Happy New Year; Natie!” she yelled into his shoulder blades as if it were the old days; and she’d just seen him a couple hours ago; rather than a whole year。 His body felt stronger than she’d remembered; and she could feel his taut muscles through his shirt。
“Serena;” Nate said dumbly; turning so his face was inches from hers。 He could smell her familiar patchouli…infused essential oil scent; and at first he wondered if this was some very weird reaction to the pot he’d smoked earlier。 Somebody at the party had had a bag of incredible Thai stick and had generously shared it with him。
“How are you?” he finally asked。 It was a dumb and obvious question and not at all what he wanted to say。 He wanted to tell her he was sorry; that he still loved her; that Chips had died and he was high and didn’t even know what to do about it。 He wanted to hold her and never let go。
Serena shrugged and smiled。 Her navy blue eyes looked far away。 “I’m okay。 How are you?”
“I’m… okay;” he said; shifting from one Stan Smith sneaker to the other。 Talk about the understatement of the year。 He wasn’t; not at all。 He was a fucking mess。 But right now; with Serena near him; he felt better than he had in a long time。
“Nathaniel fucking Archibald!”
Nate whirled around。 Towering above him was a guy with a familiar shock of reddish…blond hair。 It was Jeremy Scott Tompkinson; one of his old St。 Jude’s classmates。 Jeremy