还乡The Return Of The Native-第79部分

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o　much　for　nature！”
“Say　no　more。　　I　will　do　without　your　pity。　　But　I　would　have　saved　you　from　uttering　what　you　will　regret。”
“I　am　going　away　now。　　I　shall　leave　you。”
“You　need　not　go；　as　I　am　going　myself。　　You　will　keep　just　as　far　away　from　me　by　staying　here。”
“Call　her　to　mind—think　of　her—what　goodness　there　was　in　her—it　showed　in　every　line　of　her　face！　Most　women；　even　when　but　slightly　annoyed；　show　a　flicker　of　evil　in　some　curl　of　the　mouth　or　some　corner　of　the　cheek；　but　as　for　her；　never　in　her　angriest　moments　was　there　anything　malicious　in　her　look。　　She　was　angered　quickly；　but　she　forgave　just　as　readily；　and　underneath　her　pride　there　was　the　meekness　of　a　child。　　What　came　of　it。？what　cared　you？　　You　hated　her　just　as　she　was　learning　to　love　you。　　O！　couldn’t　you　see　what　was　best　for　you；　but　must　bring　a　curse　upon　me；　and　agony　and　death　upon　her；　by　doing　that　cruel　deed！　What　was　the　fellow’s　name　who　was　keeping　you　pany　and　causing　you　to　add　cruelty　to　her　to　your　wrong　to　me？　　Was　it　Wildeve？　　Was　it　poor　Thomasin’s　husband？　　Heaven；　what　wickedness！　Lost　your　voice；　have　you？　　It　is　natural　after　detection　of　that　most　noble　trick。。。。Eustacia；　didn’t　any　tender　thought　of　your　own　mother　lead　you　to　think　of　being　gentle　to　mine　at　such　a　time　of　weariness？　　Did　not　one　grain　of　pity　enter　your　heart　as　she　turned　away？　　Think　what　a　vast　opportunity　was　then　lost　of　beginning　a　forgiving　and　honest　course。　　Why　did　not　you　kick　him　out；　and　let　her　in；　and　say　I’ll　be　an　honest　wife　and　a　noble　woman　from　this　hour？　　Had　I　told　you　to　go　and　quench　eternally　our　last　flickering　chance　of　happiness　here　you　could　have　done　no　worse。　　Well；　she’s　asleep　now；　and　have　you　a　hundred　gallants；　neither　they　nor　you　can　insult　her　any　more。”
“You　exaggerate　fearfully；”　she　said　in　a　faint；　weary　voice；　“but　I　cannot　enter　into　my　defence—it　is　not　worth　doing。　　You　are　nothing　to　me　in　future；　and　the　past　side　of　the　story　may　as　well　remain　untold。　　I　have　lost　all　through　you；　but　I　have　not　plained。　　Your　blunders　and　misfortunes　may　have　been　a　sorrow　to　you；　but　they　have　been　a　wrong　to　me。　　All　persons　of　refinement　have　been　scared　away　from　me　since　I　sank　into　the　mire　of　marriage。　　Is　this　your　cherishing—to　put　me　into　a　hut　like　this；　and　keep　me　like　the　wife　of　a　hind？　　You　deceived　me—not　by　words；　but　by　appearances；　which　are　less　seen　through　than　words。　　But　the　place　will　serve　as　well　as　any　other—as　somewhere　to　pass　from—into　my　grave。”　Her　words　were　smothered　in　her　throat；　and　her　head　drooped　down。
“I　don’t　know　what　you　mean　by　that。　　Am　I　the　cause　of　your　sin？”　（Eustacia　made　a　trembling　motion　towards　him。）　“What；　you　can　begin　to　shed　tears　and　offer　me　your　hand？　　Good　God！　can　you？　　No；　not　I。　I’ll　not　mit　the　fault　of　taking　that。”　　（The　hand　she　had　offered　dropped　nervelessly；　but　the　tears　continued　flowing。）　“Well；　yes；　I’ll　take　it；　if　only　for　the　sake　of　my　own　foolish　kisses　that　were　wasted　there　before　I　knew　what　I　cherished。　　How　bewitched　I　was！　How　could　there　be　any　good　in　a　woman　that　everybody　spoke　ill　of？”
“O；　O；　O！”　she　cried；　breaking　down　at　last；　and；　shaking　with　sobs　which　choked　her；　she　sank　upon　her　knees。　　“O；　will　you　have　done！　O；　you　are　too　relentless—there’s　a　limit　to　the　cruelty　of　savages！　I　have　held　out　long—but　you　crush　me　down。　　I　beg　for　mercy—I　cannot　bear　this　any　longer—it　is　inhuman　to　go　further　with　this！　If　I　had—killed　your—mother　with　my　own　hand—I　should　not　deserve　such　a　scourging　to　the　bone　as　this。　　O；　O！　God　have　mercy　upon　a　miserable　woman！。。。You　have　beaten　me　in　this　game—I　beg　you　to　stay　your　hand　in　pity！。。。I　confess　that　I—wilfully　did　not　undo　the　door　the　first　time　she　knocked—but—I　should　have　unfastened　it　the　second—　if　I　had　not　thought　you　had　gone　to　do　it　yourself。　　When　I　found　you　had　not　I　opened　it；　but　she　was　gone。　　That’s　the　extent　of　my　crime—towards　HER。　Best　natures　mit　bad　faults　sometimes；　don’t　they？I　think　they　do。　　Now　I　will　leave　you—for　ever　and　ever！”
“Tell　all；　and　I　WILL　pity　you。　　Was　the　man　in　the　house　with　you　Wildeve？”
“I　cannot　tell；”　she　said　desperately　through　her　sobbing。　　“Don’t　insist　further—I　cannot　tell。　　I　am　going　from　this　house。　　We　cannot　both　stay　here。”
“You　need　not　go—I　will　go。　　You　can　stay　here。”
“No；　I　will　dress；　and　then　I　will　go。”
“Where？”
“Where　I　came　from；　or　ELSEWHERE。”
She　hastily　dressed　herself；　Yeobright　moodily　walking　up　and　down　the　room　the　whole　of　the　time。　　At　last　all　her　things　were　on。　　Her　little　hands　quivered　so　violently　as　she　held　them　to　her　chin　to　fasten　her　bonnet　that　she　could　not　tie　the　strings；　and　after　a　few　moments　she　relinquished　the　attempt。　　Seeing　this　he　moved　forward　and　said；　“Let　me　tie　them。”
She　assented　in　silence；　and　lifted　her　chin。　　For　once　at　least　in　her　life　she　was　totally　oblivious　of　the　charm　of　her　attitude。　　But　he　was　not；　and　he　turned　his　eyes　aside；　that　he　might　not　be　tempted　to　softness。　
The　strings　were　tied；　she　turned　from　him。　　“Do　you　still　prefer　going　away　yourself　to　my　leaving　you？”　he　inquired　again。　
“I　do。”
“Very　well—let　it　be。　　And　when　you　will　confess　to　the　man　I　may　pity　you。”
She　flung　her　shawl　about　her　and　went　downstairs；　leaving　him　standing　in　the　room。　

Eustacia　had　not　long　been　gone　when　there　came　a　knock　at　the　door　of　the　bedroom；　and　Yeobright　said；　“Well？”
It　was　the　servant；　and　she　replied；　“Somebody　from　Mrs。　Wildeve’s　have　called　to　tell　‘ee　that　the　mis’ess　and　the　baby　are　getting　on　wonderful　well；　and　the　baby’s　name　is　to　be　Eustacia　Clementine。”　　And　the　girl　retired。　
“What　a　mockery！”　said　Clym。　　“This　unhappy　marriage　of　mine　to　be　perpetuated　in　that　child’s　name！”


4　… The　Ministrations　of　a　Half…forgotten　One


Eustacia’s　journey　was　at　first　as　vague　in　direction　as　that　of　thistledown　on　the　wind。　　She　did　not　know　what　to　do。　　She　wished　it　had　been　night　instead　of　morning；　that　she　might　at　least　have　borne　her　misery　without　the　possibility　of　being　seen。　　Tracing　mile　after　mile　along　between　the　dying　ferns　and　the　wet　white　spiders’　webs；　she　at　length　turned　her　steps　towards　her　grandfather’s　house。　　She　found　the　front　door　closed　and　locked。　　Mechanically　she　went　round　to　the　end　where　the　stable　was；　and　on　looking　in　at　the　stable　door　she　saw　Charley　standing　within。　
“Captain　Vye　is　not　at　home？”　she　said。　
“No；　ma’am；”　said　the　lad　in　a　flutter　of　feeling；
“he’s　gone　to　Weatherbury；　and　won’t　be　home　till　night。　　And　the　servant　is　gone　home　for　a　holiday。　　So　the　house　is　locked　up。”
Eustacia’s　face　was　not　visible　to　Charley　as　she　stood　at　the　doorway；　her　back　being　to　the　sky；　and　the　stable　but　indifferently　lighted；　but　the　wildness　of　her　manner　arrested　his　attention。　　She　turned　and　walked　away　across　the　enclosure　to　the　gate；　and　was　hidden　by　the　bank。　
When　she　had　disappeared　Charley；　with　misgiving　in　his　eyes；　slowly　came　from　the　stable　door；　and　going　to　another　point　in　the　bank　he　looked　over。　　Eustacia　was　leaning　against　it　on　the　outside；　her　face　covered　with　her　hands；　and　her　head　pressing　the　dewy　heather　which　bearded　the　bank’s　outer　side。　　She　appeared　to　be　utterly　indifferent　to　the　circumstance　that　her　bonnet；　hair；　and　garments　were　being　wet　and　disarranged　by　the　moisture　of　her　cold；　harsh　pillow。　　Clearly　something　was　wrong。　
Charley　had　always　regarded　Eustacia　as　Eustacia　had　regarded　Clym　when　she　first　beheld　him—as　a　romantic　and　sweet　vision；　scarcely　incarnate。　　He　had　been　so　shut　off　from　her　by　the　dignity　of　her　look　and　the　pride　of　her　speech；　except　at　that　one　blissful　interval　when　he　was　allowed　to　hold　her　hand；　that　he　had　hardly　deemed　her　a　woman；　wingless　and　earthly；　subject　to　household　conditions　and　domestic　jars。　　The　inner　details　of　her　life　he　had　only　conjectured。　　She　had　been　a　lovely　wonder；　predestined　to　an　orbit　in　which　the　whole　of　his　own　was　but　a　point；　and　this　sight　of　her　leaning　like　a　helpless；　despairing　creature　against　a　wild　wet　bank　filled　him　with　an　amazed　horror