还乡The Return Of The Native-第21部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


“I　don’t　think　you　care　much　about　her　even　now；”　said　Eustacia　with　sudden　joyousness；　“for　if　you　did　you　wouldn’t　talk　so　coolly　about　her。　　Do　you　talk　so　coolly　to　her　about　me？　　Ah；　I　expect　you　do！　Why　did　you　originally　go　away　from　me？　　I　don’t　think　I　can　ever　forgive　you；　except　on　one　condition；　that　whenever　you　desert　me；　you　e　back　again；　sorry　that　you　served　me　so。”
“I　never　wish　to　desert　you。”
“I　do　not　thank　you　for　that。　　I　should　hate　it　to　be　all　smooth。　　Indeed；　I　think　I　like　you　to　desert　me　a　little　once　now　and　then。　　Love　is　the　dismallest　thing　where　the　lover　is　quite　honest。　　O；　it　is　a　shame　to　say　so；　but　it　is　true！”　She　indulged　in　a　little　laugh。　　“My　low　spirits　begin　at　the　very　idea。　　Don’t　you　offer　me　tame　love；　or　away　you　go！”
“I　wish　Tamsie　were　not　such　a　confoundedly　good　little　woman；”　said　Wildeve；　“so　that　I　could　be　faithful　to　you　without　injuring　a　worthy　person。　　It　is　I　who　am　the　sinner　after　all；　I　am　not　worth　the　little　finger　of　either　of　you。”
“But　you　must　not　sacrifice　yourself　to　her　from　any　sense　of　justice；”　replied　Eustacia　quickly。　　“If　you　do　not　love　her　it　is　the　most　merciful　thing　in　the　long　run　to　leave　her　as　she　is。　　That’s　always　the　best　way。　　There；　now　I　have　been　unwomanly；　I　suppose。　　When　you　have　left　me　I　am　always　angry　with　myself　for　things　that　I　have　said　to　you。”
Wildeve　walked　a　pace　or　two　among　the　heather　without　replying。　　The　pause　was　filled　up　by　the　intonation　of　a　pollard　thorn　a　little　way　to　windward；　the　breezes　filtering　through　its　unyielding　twigs　as　through　a　strainer。　　It　was　as　if　the　night　sang　dirges　with　clenched　teeth。　
She　continued；　half　sorrowfully；　“Since　meeting　you　last；　it　has　occurred　to　me　once　or　twice　that　perhaps　it　was　not　for　love　of　me　you　did　not　marry　her。　　Tell　me；　Damon—I’ll　try　to　bear　it。　　Had　I　nothing　whatever　to　do　with　the　matter？”
“Do　you　press　me　to　tell？”
“Yes；　I　must　know。　　I　see　I　have　been　too　ready　to　believe　in　my　own　power。”
“Well；　the　immediate　reason　was　that　the　license　would　not　do　for　the　place；　and　before　I　could　get　another　she　ran　away。　　Up　to　that　point　you　had　nothing　to　do　with　it。　　Since　then　her　aunt　has　spoken　to　me　in　a　tone　which　I　don’t　at　all　like。”
“Yes；　yes！　I　am　nothing　in　it—I　am　nothing　in　it。　　You　only　trifle　with　me。　　Heaven；　what　can　I；　Eustacia　Vye；　be　made　of　to　think　so　much　of　you！”
“Nonsense；　do　not　be　so　passionate。。。。Eustacia；　how　we　roved　among　these　bushes　last　year；　when　the　hot　days　had　got　cool；　and　the　shades　of　the　hills　kept　us　almost　invisible　in　the　hollows！”
She　remained　in　moody　silence　till　she　said；　“Yes；　and　how　I　used　to　laugh　at　you　for　daring　to　look　up　to　me！　　But　you　have　well　made　me　suffer　for　that　since。”
“Yes；　you　served　me　cruelly　enough　until　I　thought　I　had　found　someone　fairer　than　you。　　A　blessed　find　for　me；　Eustacia。”
“Do　you　still　think　you　found　somebody　fairer？”
“Sometimes　I　do；　sometimes　I　don’t。　The　scales　are　balanced　so　nicely　that　a　feather　would　turn　them。”
“But　don’t　you　really　care　whether　I　meet　you　or　whether　I　don’t？”　she　said　slowly。　
“I　care　a　little；　but　not　enough　to　break　my　rest；”　replied　the　young　man　languidly。　　“No；　all　that’s　past。　　I　find　there　are　two　flowers　where　I　thought　there　was　only　one。　　Perhaps　there　are　three；　or　four；　or　any　number　as　good　as　the　first。。。。Mine　is　a　curious　fate。　　Who　would　have　thought　that　all　this　could　happen　to　me？”
She　interrupted　with　a　suppressed　fire　of　which　either　love　or　anger　seemed　an　equally　possible　issue；　“Do　you　love　me　now？”
“Who　can　say？”
“Tell　me；　I　will　know　it！”
“I　do；　and　I　do　not；”　said　he　mischievously。　　“That　is；　I　have　my　times　and　my　seasons。　　One　moment　you　are　too　tall；　another　moment　you　are　too　do…nothing；　another　too　melancholy；　another　too　dark；　another　I　don’t　know　what；　except—that　you　are　not　the　whole　world　to　me　that　you　used　to　be；　my　dear。　　But　you　are　a　pleasant　lady　to　know　and　nice　to　meet；　and　I　dare　say　as　sweet　as　ever—almost。”
Eustacia　was　silent；　and　she　turned　from　him；　till　she　said；　in　a　voice　of　suspended　mightiness；　“I　am　for　a　walk；　and　this　is　my　way。”
“Well；　I　can　do　worse　than　follow　you。”
“You　know　you　can’t　do　otherwise；　for　all　your　moods　and　changes！”　she　answered　defiantly。　　“Say　what　you　will；　try　as　you　may；　keep　away　from　me　all　that　you　can—you　will　never　forget　me。　　You　will　love　me　all　your　life　long。　　You　would　jump　to　marry　me！”
“So　I　would！”　said　Wildeve。　　“Such　strange　thoughts　as　I’ve　had　from　time　to　time；　Eustacia；　and　they　e　to　me　this　moment。　　You　hate　the　heath　as　much　as　ever；　that　I　know。”
“I　do；”　she　murmured　deeply。　　“’Tis　my　cross；　my　shame；　and　will　be　my　death！”
“I　abhor　it　too；”　said　he。　　“How　mournfully　the　wind　blows　round　us　now！”
She　did　not　answer。　　Its　tone　was　indeed　solemn　and　pervasive。　　pound　utterances　addressed　themselves　to　their　senses；　and　it　was　possible　to　view　by　ear　the　features　of　the　neighbourhood。　　Acoustic　pictures　were　returned　from　the　darkened　scenery；　they　could　hear　where　the　tracts　of　heather　began　and　ended；　where　the　furze　was　growing　stalky　and　tall；　where　it　had　been　recently　cut；　in　what　direction　the　fir…clump　lay；　and　how　near　was　the　pit　in　which　the　hollies　grew；　for　these　differing　features　had　their　voices　no　less　than　their　shapes　and　colours。　
“God；　how　lonely　it　is！”　resumed　Wildeve。　　“What　are　picturesque　ravines　and　mists　to　us　who　see　nothing　else？”　Why　should　we　stay　here？　　Will　you　go　with　me　to　America？
I　have　kindred　in　Wisconsin。”
“That　wants　consideration。”
“It　seems　impossible　to　do　well　here；　unless　one　were　a　wild　bird　or　a　landscape…painter。　Well？”
“Give　me　time；”　she　softly　said；　taking　his　hand。　　“America　is　so　far　away。　　Are　you　going　to　walk　with　me　a　little　way？”
As　Eustacia　uttered　the　latter　words　she　retired　from　the　base　of　the　barrow；　and　Wildeve　followed　her；　so　that　the　reddleman　could　hear　no　more。
He　lifted　the　turves　and　arose。　　Their　black　figures　sank　and　disappeared　from　against　the　sky。　　They　were　as　two　horns　which　the　sluggish　heath　had　put　forth　from　its　crown；　like　a　mollusc；　and　had　now　again　drawn　in。　
The　reddleman’s　walk　across　the　vale；　and　over　into　the　next　where　his　cart　lay；　was　not　sprightly　for　a　slim　young　fellow　of　twenty…four。　His　spirit　was　perturbed　to　aching。　　The　breezes　that　blew　around　his　mouth　in　that　walk　carried　off　upon　them　the　accents　of　a　mination。　
He　entered　the　van；　where　there　was　a　fire　in　a　stove。　　Without　lighting　his　candle　he　sat　down　at　once　on　the　three…legged　stool；　and　pondered　on　what　he　had　seen　and　heard　touching　that　still…loved　one　of　his。　　He　uttered　a　sound　which　was　neither　sigh　nor　sob；　but　was　even　more　indicative　than　either　of　a　troubled　mind。　
“My　Tamsie；”　he　whispered　heavily。　　“What　can　be　done？　　Yes；　I　will　see　that　Eustacia　Vye。”


10　… A　Desperate　Attempt　at　Persuasion


The　next　morning；　at　the　time　when　the　height　of　the　sun　appeared　very　insignificant　from　any　part　of　the　heath　as　pared　with　the　altitude　of　Rainbarrow；　and　when　all　the　little　hills　in　the　lower　levels　were　like　an　archipelago　in　a　fog…formed　Aegean；　the　reddleman　came　from　the　brambled　nook　which　he　had　adopted　as　his　quarters　and　ascended　the　slopes　of　Mistover　Knap。　
Though　these　shaggy　hills　were　apparently　so　solitary；　several　keen　round　eyes　were　always　ready　on　such　a　wintry　morning　as　this　to　converge　upon　a　passer…by。　　Feathered　species　sojourned　here　in　hiding　which　would　have　created　wonder　if　found　elsewhere。　　A　bustard　haunted　the　spot；　and　not　many　years　before　this　five　and　twenty　might　have　been　seen　in　Egdon　at　one　time。　　Marsh…harriers　looked　up　from　the　valley　by　Wildeve’s。　　A　cream…coloured　courser　had　used　to　visit　this　hill；　a　bird　so　rare　that　not　more　than　a　dozen　have　ever　been　seen　in　England；　but　a　barbarian　rested　neither　night　nor　day　till　he　had　shot　the　African　truant；　and　after　that　event　cream…coloured　coursers　thought　fit　to　enter　Egdon　no　more。　
A　traveller　who　should　walk　and　observe　any　of　these　visitants　as　Venn　observed　them　now　could　feel　himself　to　be　in　direct　munication　with　regions　u