little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第215部分

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sacrifice。　Liberty　and　hope　would　be　so　dear；　bought　at　such　a　price；
that　I　could　never　support　their　weight；　never　bear　the　reproach　of
possessing　them。　But　with　what　ardent　thankfulness　and　love　I　say　this；
I　may　call　Heaven　to　witness！'

'And　yet　you　will　not　let　me　be　faithful　to　you　in　your　affliction？'

'Say；　dearest　Little　Dorrit；　and　yet　I　will　try　to　be　faithful　to　you。
If；　in　the　bygone　days　when　this　was　your　home　and　when　this　was　your
dress；　I　had　understood　myself　（I　speak　only　of　myself）　better；　and
had　read　the　secrets　of　my　own　breast　more　distinctly；　if；　through　my
reserve　and　self…mistrust；　I　had　discerned　a　light　that　I　see　brightly
now　when　it　has　passed　far　away；　and　my　weak　footsteps　can　never
overtake　it；　if　I　had　then　known；　and　told　you　that　I　loved　and　honoured
you；　not　as　the　poor　child　I　used　to　call　you；　but　as　a　woman　whose
true　hand　would　raise　me　high　above　myself　and　make　me　a　far　happier　and
better　man；　if　I　had　so　used　the　opportunity　there　is　no　recalling……as
I　wish　I　had；　O　I　wish　I　had！……and　if　something　had　kept　us　apart　then；
when　I　was　moderately　thriving；　and　when　you　were　poor；　I　might　have　met
your　noble　offer　of　your　fortune；　dearest　girl；　with　other　words　than
these；　and　still　have　blushed　to　touch　it。　But；　as　it　is；　I　must　never
touch　it；　never！'

She　besought　him；　more　pathetically　and　earnestly；　with　her　little
supplicatory　hand；　than　she　could　have　done　in　any　words。

'I　am　disgraced　enough；　my　Little　Dorrit。　I　must　not　descend　so　low　as
that；　and　carry　you……so　dear；　so　generous；　so　good……down　with　me。　GOD
bless　you；　GOD　reward　you！　It　is　past。'　He　took　her　in　his　arms；　as　if
she　had　been　his　daughter。

'Always　so　much　older；　so　much　rougher；　and　so　much　less　worthy；　even
what　I　was　must　be　dismissed　by　both　of　us；　and　you　must　see　me　only　as
I　am。　I　put　this　parting　kiss　upon　your　cheek；　my　child……who　might　have
been　more　near　to　me；　who　never　could　have　been　more　dear……a　ruined　man
far　removed　from　you；　for　ever　separated　from　you；　whose　course　is
run　while　yours　is　but　beginning。　I　have　not　the　courage　to　ask　to　be
forgotten　by　you　in　my　humiliation；　but　I　ask　to　be　remembered　only　as　I
am。'

The　bell　began　to　ring；　warning　visitors　to　depart。　He　took　her　mantle
from　the　wall；　and　tenderly　wrapped　it　round　her。

'One　other　word；　my　Little　Dorrit。　A　hard　one　to　me；　but　it　is　a
necessary　one。　The　time　when　you　and　this　prison　had　anything　in　mon
has　long　gone　by。　Do　you　understand？'

'O！　you　will　never　say　to　me；'　she　cried；　weeping　bitterly；　and　holding
up　her　clasped　hands　in　entreaty；　'that　I　am　not　to　e　back　any　more！
You　will　surely　not　desert　me　so！'

'I　would　say　it；　if　I　could；　but　I　have　not　the　courage　quite　to　shut
out　this　dear　face；　and　abandon　all　hope　of　its　return。　But　do　not　e
soon；　do　not　e　often！　This　is　now　a　tainted　place；　and　I　well　know
the　taint　of　it　clings　to　me。　You　belong　to　much　brighter　and　better
scenes。　You　are　not　to　look　back　here；　my　Little　Dorrit；　you　are　to　look
away　to　very　different　and　much　happier　paths。　Again；　GOD　bless　you　in
them！　GOD　reward　you！'

Maggy；　who　had　fallen　into　very　low　spirits；　here　cried；　'Oh　get　him
into　a　hospital；　do　get　him　into　a　hospital；　Mother！　He'll　never　look
like　hisself　again；　if　he　an't　got　into　a　hospital。　And　then　the　little
woman　as　was　always　a　spinning　at　her　wheel；　she　can　go　to　the　cupboard
with　the　Princess；　and　say；　what　do　you　keep　the　Chicking　there　for？　and
then　they　can　take　it　out　and　give　it　to　him；　and　then　all　be　happy！'

The　interruption　was　seasonable；　for　the　bell　had　nearly　rung　itself
out。　Again　tenderly　wrapping　her　mantle　about　her；　and　taking　her　on　his
arm　（though；　but　for　her　visit；　he　was　almost　too　weak　to　walk）；　Arthur
led　Little　Dorrit　down…stairs。　She　was　the　last　visitor　to　pass　out　at
the　Lodge；　and　the　gate　jarred　heavily　and　hopelessly　upon　her。

With　the　funeral　clang　that　it　sounded　into　Arthur's　heart；　his　sense　of
weakness　returned。　It　was　a　toilsome　journey　up…stairs　to　his　room；　and
he　re…entered　its　dark　solitary　precincts　in　unutterable　misery。

When　it　was　almost　midnight；　and　the　prison　had　long　been　quiet；　a
cautious　creak　came　up　the　stairs；　and　a　cautious　tap　of　a　key　was　given
at　his　door。　It　was　Young　John。　He　glided　in；　in　his　stockings；　and　held
the　door　closed；　while　he　spoke　in　a　whisper。

'It's　against　all　rules；　but　I　don't　mind。　I　was　determined　to　e
through；　and　e　to　you。'

'What　is　the　matter？'

'Nothing's　the　matter；　sir。　I　was　waiting　in　the　court…yard　for　Miss
Dorrit　when　she　came　out。　I　thought　you'd　like　some　one　to　see　that　she
was　safe。'

'Thank　you；　thank　you！　You　took　her　home；　John？'

'I　saw　her　to　her　hotel。　The　same　that　Mr　Dorrit　was　at。　Miss　Dorrit
walked　all　the　way；　and　talked　to　me　so　kind；　it　quite　knocked　me　over。
Why　do　you　think　she　walked　instead　of　riding？'

'I　don't　know；　John。'

'To　talk　about　you。　She　said　to　me；　〃John；　you　was　always　honourable；
and　if　you'll　promise　me　that　you　will　take　care　of　him；　and　never　let
him　want　for　help　and　fort　when　I　am　not　there；　my　mind　will　be　at
rest　so　far。〃　I　promised　her。　And　I'll　stand　by　you；'　said　John　Chivery；
'for　ever！'

Clennam；　much　affected；　stretched　out　his　hand　to　this　honest　spirit。

'Before　I　take　it；'　said　John；　looking　at　it；　without　ing　from　the
door；　'guess　what　message　Miss　Dorrit　gave　me。'

Clennam　shook　his　head。

'〃Tell　him；〃'　repeated　John；　in　a　distinct；　though　quavering　voice；
'〃that　his　Little　Dorrit　sent　him　her　undying　love。〃　Now　it's　delivered。
Have　I　been　honourable；　sir？'

'Very；　very！'

'Will　you　tell　Miss　Dorrit　I've　been　honourable；　sir？'

'I　will　indeed。'

'There's　my　hand；　sir；'　said　john；　'and　I'll　stand　by　you　forever！'

After　a　hearty　squeeze；　he　disappeared　with　the　same　cautious　creak　upon
the　stair；　crept　shoeless　over　the　pavement　of　the　yard；　and；　locking
the　gates　behind　him；　passed　out　into　the　front　where　he　had　left　his
shoes。　If　the　same　way　had　been　paved　with　burning　ploughshares；　it　is
not　at　all　improbable　that　John　would　have　traversed　it　with　the　same
devotion；　for　the　same　purpose。




CHAPTER　30。　Closing　in


The　last　day　of　the　appointed　week　touched　the　bars　of　the　Marshalsea
gate。　Black；　all　night；　since　the　gate　had　clashed　upon　Little　Dorrit；
its　iron　stripes　were　turned　by　the　early…glowing　sun　into　stripes　of
gold。　Far　aslant　across　the　city；　over　its　jumbled　roofs；　and　through
the　open　tracery　of　its　church　towers；　struck　the　long　bright　rays；　bars
of　the　prison　of　this　lower　world。

Throughout　the　day　the　old　house　within　the　gateway　remained　untroubled
by　any　visitors。　But；　when　the　sun　was　low；　three　men　turned　in　at　the
gateway　and　made　for　the　dilapidated　house。

Rigaud　was　the　first；　and　walked　by　himself　smoking。　Mr　Baptist　was
the　second；　and　jogged　close　after　him；　looking　at　no　other　object。
Mr　Pancks　was　the　third；　and　carried　his　hat　under　his　arm　for　the
liberation　of　his　restive　hair；　the　weather　being　extremely　hot。　They
all　came　together　at　the　door…steps。

'You　pair　of　madmen！'　said　Rigaud；　facing　about。　'Don't　go　yet！'

'We　don't　mean　to；'　said　Mr　Pancks。　Giving　him　a　dark　glance　in
acknowledgment　of　his　answer；　Rigaud　knocked　loudly。　He　had　charged
himself　with　drink；　for　the　playing　out　of　his　game；　and　was　impatient
to　begin。　He　had　hardly　finished　one　long　resounding　knock；　when　he
turned　to　the　knocker　again　and　began　another。　That　was　not　yet　finished
when　Jeremiah　Flintwinch　opened　the　door；　and　they　all　clanked　into　the
stone　hall。　Rigaud；　thrusting　Mr　Flintwinch　aside；　proceeded　straight
up…stairs。　His　two　attendants　followed　him；　Mr　Flintwinch　followed　them；
and　they　all　came　trooping　into　Mrs　Clennam's　quiet　room。　It　was　in　its
usual　state；　except　that　one　of　the　windows　was　wide　open；　and　Affery
sat　on　its　old…fashioned　window…seat；　mending　a　stocking。　The　usual
articles　were　on　the　little　table；　the　usual　deadened　fire　was　in　the
grate；　the　bed　had　its　usual　pall　upon　it；　and　the　mistress　of　all　sat
on　her　black　bier…like　sofa；　propped　up　by　her　black　angular　bolster
that　was　like　the　headsman's　block。

Yet　there　was　a　namele