Sphere (深海圆疑) 原版小说-第64部分

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Why；　just　a　few　minutes　ago；　you　even　told　me　about　The　Wizard　of　Oz；　didn't　you？　You　helped　me　along　when　I　wasn't　getting　the　point…or　at　least　your　unconscious　did。　Are　you　still　calm？〃
〃Of　course　I'm　calm。〃
〃Good。　Stay　calm；　Norman。　Let's　consider　this　logically。　Will　you　cooperate　with　me？〃
〃What　do　you　want　to　do？〃
〃I　want　to　put　you　under；　Norman。　Like　Harry。〃
He　shook　his　head。
〃It's　only　for　a　few　hours；　Norman；〃　she　said；　and　then　she　seemed　to　decide；　she　moved　swiftly　toward　him；　and　he　saw　the　syringe　in　her　hand；　the　glint　of　the　needle；　and　he　twisted　away。　The　needle　plunged　into　the　blanket；　and　he　threw　it　off　and　ran　for　the　stairs。
〃Norman！　e　back　here！〃
He　was　climbing　the　stairs。　He　saw　Beth　running　forward　＇＇316＇＇　with　the　needle。　He　kicked　with　his　foot；　got　upstairs　into　her　lab；　and　slammed　the　hatch　down　on　her。
〃Norman！〃
She　pounded　on　the　hatch。　Norman　stood　on　it；　knowing　that　she　could　never　lift　his　weight。　Beth　continued　to　pound。
〃Norman　Johnson；　you　open　that　hatch　this　minute！〃
〃No；　Beth；　I'm　sorry。〃
He　paused。　What　could　she　do？　Nothing；　he　thought。　He　was　safe　here。　She　couldn't　get　to　him　up　here；　she　couldn't　do　anything　to　him　as　long　as　he　remained　here。
Then　he　saw　the　metal　pivot　move　in　the　center　of　the　hatch　between　his　feet。　On　the　other　side　of　the　hatch；　Beth　was　spinning　the　wheel。
Locking　him　in。

0600　HOURS

The　only　lights　in　the　laboratory　shone　on　the　bench；　next　to　a　row　of　neatly　bottled　specimens：　squid；　shrimps；　giant　squid　eggs。　He　touched　the　bottles　absently。　He　turned　on　the　laboratory　monitor　and　punched　buttons　until　he　saw　Beth；　downstairs；　on　the　video。　Beth　was　working　at　the　main　D　Cyl　console。　To　one　side；　he　saw　Harry；　still　lying　unconscious。
〃Norman；　can　you　hear　me？〃
He　said　aloud；　〃Yes；　Beth。　I　hear　you。〃
〃Norman；　you　are　acting　irresponsibly。　You　are　a　menace　to　this　entire　expedition。〃
Was　that　true？　he　wondered。　He　didn't　think　he　was　a　menace　to　the　expedition。　It　didn't　feel　true　to　him。　But　how　often　in　his　life　had　he　confronted　patients　who　refused　to　acknowledge　what　was　happening　in　their　lives？　Even　trivial　＇＇317＇＇　examples…a　man；　another　professor　at　the　university；　who　was　terrified　of　elevators　but　who　steadfastly　insisted　he　always　took　the　stairs　because　it　was　good　exercise。　The　man　would　climb　fifteen…story　buildings；　he　would　decline　appointments　in　taller　buildings；　he　arranged　his　entire　life　to　acmodate　a　problem　he　would　not　admit　he　had。　The　problem　remained　concealed　from　him　until　he　finally　had　a　heart　attack。　Or　the　woman　who　was　exhausted　from　years　of　caring　for　her　disturbed　daughter；　she　gave　her　daughter　a　bottle　of　sleeping　pills　because　she　said　the　girl　needed　a　rest；　the　girl　mitted　suicide。　Or　the　novice　sailor　who　cheerfully　packed　his　family　off　on　a　sailing　excursion　to　Catalina　in　a　gale；　nearly　killing　them　all。
Dozens　of　examples　came　to　mind。　It　was　a　psychological　truism；　this　blindness　about　self。　Did　he　imagine　that　he　was　immune？　Three　years　ago；　there　had　been　a　minor　scandal　when　one　of　the　assistant　professors　in　the　Psychology　Department　had　mitted　suicide；　sticking　a　gun　in　his　mouth　over　the　Labor　Day　weekend。　There　had　been　headlines　for　that　one：　〃PSYCH　PROF　KILLS　SELF；　Colleagues　Express　Surprise；　Say　Deceased　Was　'Always　Happy。'　〃
The　dean　of　the　faculty；　embarrassed　in　his　fund…raising；　had　berated　Norman　about　that　incident；　but　the　difficult　truth　was　that　psychology　had　severe　limitations。　Even　with　professional　knowledge　and　the　best　of　intentions；　there　remained　an　enormous　amount　you　never　knew　about　your　closest　friends；　your　colleagues；　your　wives　and　husbands　and　children。
And　your　ignorance　about　yourself　was　even　greater　than　that。　Self…awareness　was　the　most　difficult　of　all。　Few　people　attained　it。　Or　perhaps　nobody　attained　it。
〃Norman；　are　you　there？〃
〃Yes；　Beth。〃
〃I　think　you　are　a　good　person；　Norman。〃
He　said　nothing。　He　just　watched　her　on　the　monitor。
〃I　think　you　have　integrity；　and　that　you　believe　in　telling　the　truth。　This　is　a　difficult　moment　for　you；　to　face　the　reality　about　yourself。　I　know　your　mind　is　struggling　now　to　find　excuses；　to　blame　someone　else。　But　I　think　you　can　＇＇318＇＇　do　it；　Norman。　Harry　couldn't　do　it；　but　you　can。　I　think　you　can　admit　the　hard　truth…that　so　long　as　you　remain　conscious；　the　expedition　is　menaced。〃
He　felt　the　strength　of　her　conviction；　heard　the　quiet　force　of　her　voice。　As　Beth　spoke；　it　felt　almost　as　if　her　ideas　were　clothing　being　draped　over　his　body。　He　began　to　see　things　her　way。　She　was　so　calm；　she　must　be　right。　Her　ideas　had　such　power。　Her　thoughts　had　such　power。　。。。
〃Beth；　have　you　been　in　the　sphere？〃
〃No；　Norman。　That's　your　mind；　trying　to　evade　the　point　again。　I　haven't　been　in　the　sphere。　You　have。〃
He　honestly　couldn't　remember　going　into　the　sphere。　He　had　no　recollection　at　all。　And　when　Harry　had　been　in　the　sphere；　he　remembered　afterward。　Why　would　Norman　forget？　Why　would　he　block　it？
〃You're　a　psychologist；　Norman；〃　she　was　saying。　〃You；　of　all　people；　do　not　want　to　admit　you　have　a　shadow　side。　You　have　a　professional　stake　in　believing　in　your　own　mental　health。　Of　course　you　will　deny　it。〃
He　didn't　think　so。　But　how　to　resolve　it？　How　to　determine　if　she　was　right　or　not？　His　mind　wasn't　working　well。　His　cut　knee　throbbed　painfully。　At　least　there　was　no　doubt　about　that…his　injured　knee　was　real。
Reality　testing。
That　was　how　to　resolve　it；　he　thought。　Reality　testing。　What　was　the　objective　evidence　that　Norman　had　gone　to　the　sphere？　They　had　made　tapes　of　everything　that　occurred　in　the　habitat。　If　Norman　had　gone　to　the　sphere　many　hours　ago；　somewhere　there　was　a　tape　showing　him　in　the　airlock；　alone；　getting　dressed；　slipping　away。　Beth　should　be　able　to　show　him　that　tape。　Where　was　that　tape？
In　the　submarine；　of　course。
It　would　long　ago　have　been　taken　to　the　submarine。　Norman　himself　might　have　taken　it；　when　he　made　his　excursion　to　the　sub。
No　objective　evidence。
〃Norman；　give　up。　Please。　For　all　our　sakes。〃
Perhaps　she　was　right；　he　thought。　She　was　so　sure　of　herself。　If　he　was　evading　the　truth；　if　he　was　putting　the　＇＇319＇＇　expedition　in　jeopardy；　then　he　had　to　give　himself　up　and　let　her　put　him　under。　Could　he　trust　her　to　do　that？　He　would　have　to。　There　wasn't　any　choice。
It　must　be　me；　he　thought。　It　must　be。　The　thought　was　so　horrible　to　him…that　in　itself　was　suspicious。　He　was　resisting　it　so　violently…not　a　good　sign；　he　thought。　Too　much　resistance。
〃Norman？〃
〃Okay；　Beth。〃
〃Will　you　do　it？〃
〃Don't　push。　Give　me　a　minute；　will　you？〃
〃Sure；　Norman。　Of　course。〃
He　looked　at　the　video　recorder　next　to　the　monitor。　He　remembered　how　Beth　had　used　this　recorder　to　play　the　same　tape；　again　and　again；　the　tape　in　which　the　sphere　had　opened　by　itself。　That　tape　was　now　lying　on　the　counter　beside　the　recorder。　He　pushed　the　tape　into　the　slot；　clicked　the　recorder　on。　Why　bother　to　look　at　it　now？　he　thought。　You're　just　delaying。　You're　wasting　time。
The　screen　flickered；　and　he　waited　for　the　familiar　image　of　Beth　eating　cake；　her　back　to　the　monitor。　But　this　was　a　different　tape。　This　was　a　direct　monitor　feed　showing　the　sphere。　The　gleaming　sphere；　just　sitting　there。
He　watched　for　a　few　seconds；　but　nothing　happened。　The　sphere　was　immobile；　as　always。　Polished；　perfect；　immobile。　He　watched　a　while　longer；　but　there　was　nothing　to　see。
〃Norman；　if　I　open　the　hatch　now；　will　you　e　down　quietly？〃
〃Yes；　Beth。〃
He　sighed；　sat　back　in　the　chair。　How　long　would　he　be　unconscious？　A　little　less　than　six　hours。　It　would　be　okay。　But　in　any　case；　Beth　was　right；　he　had　to　give　himself　up。　〃Norman；　why　are　you　watching　that　tape？〃
He　looked　around　quickly。　Was　there　a　video　camera　in　the　room　allowing　her　to　see　him？　Yes：　high　up　in　the　ceiling；　next　to　the　upper　hatch。
〃Why　are　you　watching　that　tape；　Norman？〃
〃It　was　here。〃
〃Who　said　you　could　watch　that　tape？〃
＇＇320＇＇　〃Nobody；〃　Norman　said。　〃It　was　just　here。〃
〃Turn　the　tape　off；　Norman。　Turn　it　off　now。〃
She　didn't　sound　so　calm　any　more。　〃What's　the　matter；　Beth？〃
〃Turn　that　damned　tape　off；　Norman！〃
He　was　about　to　ask　her　why；　but　then　he　saw　Beth　enter　t